What does Aristotle say about friendship?

Virtue anchors true bonds

By Shawn Buckles

Curious about Aristotle's take on friendship? He saw it as essential to a good life, valuing those rooted in virtue over mere pleasure or utility. True friends seek the best for each other, growing together.

Aristotle viewed friendship as essential for human life, categorizing it into three types: friendships of utility, pleasure, and virtue. He prized friendships of virtue the highest, where friends wish well for each other's sake and share mutual respect and values.

In poverty and other misfortunes of life, true friends are a sure refuge. They keep the young out of mischief; they comfort and aid the old in their weakness, and they incite those in the prime of life to noble deeds.
Aristotle
Friendship is essentially a partnership.
Aristotle
A friend to all is a friend to none.
Aristotle

Summary

  • Aristotle's philosophy on friendship emphasizes its essential role in a good life.
  • Friendships are classified into utility, pleasure, and virtue, with the last being the ideal.
  • True friendship according to Aristotle involves mutual growth and the pursuit of virtue.

Aristotle mentions friendship in this book:

  • Nicomachean Ethics (circa 340 B.C.): Aristotle argues that friendships of the good are the highest form of friendship. These are based on mutual respect and admiration for each other's virtues. The friends wish good things for each other for the sake of the other, and these relationships are long-lasting. Friendships of utility and pleasure, on the other hand, are based on more superficial grounds—they exist because each person benefits from the other in some way, either through useful services or through enjoyment. According to Aristotle, these latter types of friendship are less stable and less fulfilling, because they are based on transient qualities and can dissolve when the utility or pleasure ceases.

The Nature of Friendship

In exploring Aristotle's insights, you'll find that friendship is not a monolith but a nuanced and dynamic relationship grounded in mutual well-being.

Defining Friendship

Aristotle takes a deep dive into the essence of friendship or philia, which for him encompasses more than just a casual connection. He sees it as fundamental to your nature as human beings, emphasizing relationships built on goodwill and mutual respect. This conception moves beyond mere acquaintanceship to a form of love that is vital for your flourishing.

Roles of Pleasure and Utility

He outlines three types of friendships with distinct roles: those based on pleasure, utility, and goodness. The first two—friendships for pleasure and utility—are often more about what you gain from them, like enjoyment or benefits. Although Aristotle deems these relationships as important, he believes they tend to be less permanent and more self-serving.

Friendship Over Time

The truest form of friendship, in Aristotle's view, stands the test of time. It's the one where you deeply care for the person for who they are, not for any incidental benefits. Such friendships are rare and precious, built on a foundation of virtue and mutual growth. Just like fitness requires regular exercise, maintaining a friendship involves shared activities and experiences that reinforce your bond over time.

Aristotelian Ethics and Friendship

In Aristotle's view, your friendships profoundly shape the quality of your life and ethical development. He recognized that your personal growth is intertwined with the friendships you cultivate.

Virtue and Moral Character

Friendships, according to Aristotle, are built on the foundation of virtue and moral character. When you engage with friends who embody excellence, you're influenced by their character, and it prompts your own moral improvement. Aristotle identified three types of friendships: those of utility, of pleasure, and of virtue. However, the friendships centered on virtue are the most significant, because these relationships are based on mutual respect and a shared commitment to goodness.

Happiness and the Good Life

For Aristotle, happiness—or eudaimonia—is not just a state of mind; it's an activity lived in accordance with virtue. Your pursuit of the good life involves seeking happiness not only for yourself but also wishing the same for your friends. The highest form of friendship contributes to this pursuit, as it is rooted in a love and admiration of the other's virtue, supporting both individuals in striving toward their best self and the collective good life.

Types of Friendships According to Aristotle

Aristotle's exploration of friendship reveals three distinct kinds that differ in their basis and depth. Understanding these can help you identify the nature of your own relationships.

Friendship of Utility

The Friendship of Utility is formed between you and someone who is helpful to your life. This type of relationship is often short-lived, as it is based on convenience and benefit. You share a mutual exchange of favors or support, but the tie may dissolve once the need or benefit ends.

Friendship of Pleasure

Friendship of Pleasure happens when you bond over shared interests or activities that bring enjoyment. It's characteristically seen among young people and is as transient as the activities that bond you. These friendships offer fun and satisfaction as long as your tastes and the pleasure derived from them align.

Perfect or Virtuous Friendship

Last is the Perfect or Virtuous Friendship, where you connect on a deeper level with someone. These rare bonds are built on mutual respect and a shared appreciation for each other's character, extending beyond gains or enjoyment. In a virtuous friendship, you wish good for your friend for their own sake, often equating to a lifelong connection.

Conditions for True Friendship

Aristotle posited that true friendship goes beyond superficial associations, focusing on deeper connections that encompass trust and a mutual sense of goodwill. This connection is thought to be rare and highly valued.

Trust and Intimacy

For Aristotle, trust is a cornerstone of any true friendship. You develop trust over time as you get to know someone intimately, understanding their character and values. This intimacy means sharing personal thoughts and feelings, knowing they will be kept confidential. Friendships without trust lack the foundation necessary for a lasting bond.

Equality and Reciprocity

In true friendships, Aristotle believed equality plays a crucial role—you give and receive equally, neither person consistently outdoing the other. This balance reflects the principle of reciprocity, where both friends contribute to the relationship in a manner that is mutually beneficial. The feeling of affection in such friendships is reciprocal; your goodwill is acknowledged and returned, fostering a deep and enduring bond.

Implications of Friendship in Life

Aristotle's insights into friendship play a significant role in shaping your understanding of social bonds and their influence on your life.

Friendship's Influence on Well-being

Your well-being is deeply intertwined with the quality of your friendships. Aristotle noted that the prime form of friendship is one based on virtue—where both friends wish good things for each other for the sake of the other. This virtuous friendship can lead to better well-being as it provides emotional support and care. It's not just about having someone to spend time with; it's about having someone who helps you become the best version of yourself.

Friendships in Family and Business

Within family dynamics, friendships can take the form of quality relations between family members, enhancing the parent-child relationship or between siblings. It's important for you to nurture these connections as they form the foundation for potential life-long support. In business, while friendships might be more complex due to competing interests, they still hold potential for mutual benefit. Healthy friendships in a professional setting can lead to positive working environments and successful partnerships that care for the interests of both parties.

Comparison with Contemporary Views

Aristotle's perspective on friendship has significantly shaped your modern understanding, contrasting with earlier thinkers such as Plato. While aspects of his thought remain relevant, current views on friendship encompass various psychological complexities that Aristotle could not have predicted.

Modern Understanding of Friendship

Your contemporary view of friendship extends beyond the classical framework established by Aristotle, highlighting the psychological aspects that govern interpersonal dynamics. In today's lens, friendships are seen as essential for psychological well-being and not merely as societal constructs. Respect, support, and the ability to provide answers to life’s questions are valued components. Researchers probe deeper into the impact of friendship on a student's ability to cope with stress and improve academic performance.

Contrasts with Plato and Others

Aristotle parted ways with Plato and other philosophers by emphasizing the role of mutual respect and admiration in friendship, where Plato underscored the utility and benefit-driven aspects. You can see Aristotle's influence distinctly when considering his focus on love as an action rather than love as a passion. His views suggest that through actions and love, friendships cultivate virtue — a contrast to Plato's idea that friendships are a means to an end.

Aristotle's Legacy on Friendship

Aristotle's insights on friendship have profoundly influenced philosophical discourse and continue to resonate in your modern relationships.

Influence in Philosophical Discourse

Aristotle’s contributions to the concept of friendship, particularly through his work, Nicomachean Ethics, have deeply ingrained themselves in the bedrock of philosophical thought. His delineation of friendship types—of utility, pleasure, and the highest form, virtuous friendship—paved the way for a nuanced understanding of human connections. Your recognition of the importance of mutual admiration and moral excellence in friendships can be traced back to this philosopher's writings. His ideas maintain significant influence and continue to be a pivotal point of reference in ethical and philosophical discussions about the nature of personal bonds.

Relevance to Modern Relationships

The concepts detailed by Aristotle centuries ago remain surprisingly relevant to your understanding of modern relationships—be it friendships or romantic relationships. His emphasis on reciprocity and justice offers you valuable insights into the underlying principles that foster healthier and more fulfilling connections. In particular, the idea that virtuous friendships contribute to a good life resonates with your current pursuit of meaningful interactions beyond mere convenience or temporary pleasure. His framework aids you in discerning the value of enduring relationships, formed on the basis of mutual respect and good will, and their role in your pursuit of happiness.

Conclusion

In Aristotle's view, friendships are integral to a virtuous life. They provide the support and companionship necessary to thrive. Your friendships serve as a solid foundation for personal growth and moral development.

  • Reciprocal recognition: True friendships are a two-way street, involving mutual goodwill and recognition.
  • Contribution to the good life: Your friendships enrich your life and contribute to your happiness.

Remember, Aristotle categorizes friendships into three types: those of utility, pleasure, and the highest form of friendship, which is based on the mutual appreciation of the virtuous qualities in each other. It is with the latter that you can fully experience the essence of Aristotle’s philosophy on friendship. You foster a relationship that goes beyond mere benefit or fleeting enjoyment, one that intertwines with the quest for a virtuous life.

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