What does the Bible say about treating your husband?

Respect and love in unity

By Shawn Buckles

Exploring marriage guidance from the Bible? It teaches love, respect, and mutual support, emphasizing a nurturing partnership. Ephesians 5:33 highlights the importance of love and respect, urging spouses to communicate and collaborate for a spiritually fulfilling journey together.

The Bible encourages wives to respect and submit to their husbands as to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22-24) and to love them deeply, being their partner and helper (Genesis 2:18; Proverbs 31:10-31). It emphasizes the importance of loyalty, respect, and support within the marriage.

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
Ephesians 5:22-23
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Ephesians 5:33
The LORD God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.
Genesis 2:18

Summary

  • Biblical teachings advocate for love and respect between spouses.
  • Clear communication and mutual support are pillars of a marital relationship.
  • A couple’s spiritual growth is intertwined within the Christian marriage framework.

Bible mentions treating your husband in the following books:

  • Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs (2004): Emerson Eggerichs delves into the biblical command for wives to respect their husbands and for husbands to love their wives, offering practical advice for cultivating a fulfilling marital relationship.

  • The Power of a Praying Wife (1997): Stormie Omartian provides insight into the power of prayer in marriage, encouraging wives to pray for their husbands and their relationships, aligning with biblical principles of support and love.

  • Sacred Influence: How God Uses Wives to Shape the Souls of Their Husbands (2007): Gary Thomas explores how a wife's godly influence can positively impact her husband and strengthen their marriage, based on biblical examples and teachings.

  • For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men (2004): Shaunti Feldhahn offers a perspective on understanding the emotional and spiritual needs of men, aimed at helping wives to better love and support their husbands in accordance with biblical teachings.

  • Fierce Women: The Power of a Soft Warrior (2012): Kimberly Wagner discusses the strength of a godly woman in her marriage, focusing on how to use that strength with gentleness and respect to build up her husband and honor God.

Biblical Foundation of Marriage

The Bible provides a fundamental blueprint for marriage, rooted in Genesis 2:18, where it is stated, “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’” This passage highlights the inception of the marital relationship, emphasizing that partners are meant to be each other’s helpers, sharing life’s journey together.

In Genesis 2:24, the nature of this union is further explained: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This verse crystallizes the concept of “one flesh,” where marriage is seen as a sacred bond in which two individuals are intimately united, establishing an exclusive and enduring commitment.

The Apostle Paul reiterates this sentiment in his epistles. In 1 Corinthians 7, he encourages spouses to care for each other’s needs, signifying mutual respect and love within the marriage covenant. He underscores the shared responsibility and equality, where neither partner dominates the other, but together they form a harmonious unit.

The marriage framework, as portrayed in the Bible, encompasses companionship, support, and a deep, abiding connection. It sets a divine precedent for relationships that are nurturing and mutually beneficial, reflecting the caring nature of one’s commitment to their partner.

Roles and Responsibilities

In the Christian faith, the roles and responsibilities of husbands and wives in marriage are defined through specific scripture passages. These teachings emphasize a mutual respect and love that reflects the relationship between Christ and the church.

Wife’s Role

Scripture calls for wives to respect their husbands and adopt a gentle and quiet spirit, which is highly esteemed in the eyes of God. In Ephesians 5:22-24, wives are encouraged to submit to their husbands as to the Lord, acknowledging the husband as the head of the wife. This concept is further supported in 1 Peter 3:1-2, which suggests that wives should be in subjection to their husbands, so that even those who do not believe the word may be won over by their conduct.

Husband’s Role

Conversely, husbands are instructed to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). This love involves selflessness, care, and not being harsh, as stipulated in Colossians 3:19.

Additionally, 1 Peter 3:7 calls for husbands to grant honor to their wives as fellow heirs to the grace of life. According to 1 Corinthians 11:3, husbands also have a role in the spiritual leadership of the home, while consistently exhibiting love and respect, avoiding bitterness (Ephesians 5:33).

Love and Respect

In the Bible, the concepts of love and respect are foundational to a healthy marital relationship. They instruct spouses on how to treat each other in ways that foster trust and honor.

Expressions of Love

Scripture equates love with actions that serve and cherish the other. For example, the Song of Songs is an entire book dedicated to the deep and passionate expression of love between a husband and wife. It illustrates love as not just an emotion, but a deliberate action.

In practical terms, expressions of love include time spent together, words of affirmation, and acts of service.

Practicing Respect

The Bible also places great emphasis on respect within marriage. Ephesians 5:33 specifically tells a wife to respect her husband.

This is not about submission from fear or inferiority but speaks to a mutual, voluntary posture of honor and esteem. It involves listening to each other’s opinions, supporting each other’s roles, and valuing one another’s contributions to the relationship. Trust here is implicit, as respect cannot thrive where trust is absent.

Communication in Marriage

Effective communication in marriage is emphasized in the Bible as a means to foster understanding and love between spouses.

Ephesians 4:25 underscores the importance of honesty, saying “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.” This suggests that transparent and truthful conversation is a cornerstone of a healthy marital relationship.

It is also advised that spouses should listen carefully to one another, which involves being attentive and patient.

According to James 1:19, one should be “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” This highlights the value of listening as an act of love and a way to prevent misunderstandings.

Moreover, the Bible encourages a gentle approach to communication. In Colossians 3:19, husbands are specifically reminded: “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”

Similarly, 1 Peter 3:1 discusses the impact of conduct without a word, suggesting that actions and non-verbal communication often speak as powerfully as words.

  • Key Biblical Advice on Communication:
    • Be truthful and honest.
    • Listen with patience and attentiveness.
    • Employ a gentle and considerate tone.
    • Remember that actions speak loudly, conveying messages without words.

Spiritual Life Together

The Scriptures encourage couples to cultivate a shared spiritual bond. Through practices like prayer and joint exploration of faith, a husband and wife can strengthen their relationship not only with each other but also with God.

Prayer in Marriage

Prayer serves as a foundational practice for couples seeking to enrich their spiritual life together. As it says in 1 Peter 3:7, husbands should live with their wives in an understanding way, honoring them as fellow heirs of the grace of life, so that their prayers may not be hindered.

Joint prayer can reinforce unity and offer a way to express joint hopes and concerns to God.

Growing in Faith

Growth in faith is a journey that a couple embarks on together, aiming for eternal life and a deepened relationship with Christ, their Savior.

They can attend church as a unit, participate in Bible study groups as members of the body of Christ, and encourage each other through the teachings of Peter, John, and Matthew.

Walking together in faith means supporting each other’s spiritual growth and fostering a bond that reflects the teachings of Jesus.

Facing Challenges

In the journey of marriage, the Bible provides guidance on how to navigate through difficult times. It acknowledges various challenges a couple might face, from the temptation to anger, and offers wisdom for maintaining a loving and respectful relationship.

Overcoming Temptation

The Bible warns against the dangers of temptation, such as desires that could lead to adulterous behaviors. Hebrews 13:4 emphasizes the honor of marriage, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”

This scripture highlights the need for self-control and fidelity.

Conflict Resolution

Scriptural advice also extends to managing conflict and anger in marriage.

Couples are encouraged to resolve disputes calmly and lovingly, as Ephesians 4:26 advises, “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.”

Additionally, the Bible calls wives to “submit to your husband” as a form of mutual respect, pairing submission with an attitude of forgiveness and understanding to successfully work through disagreements.

Family and Parenting

The Bible provides guidance on the dynamics of family and parenting, emphasizing the importance of nurturing and instructive relationships within the household.

Ephesians 6:4 advises parents, specifically fathers, not to provoke their children to anger. Instead, they should bring them up with discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. This creates a stable and loving environment for children, who are seen as heirs of God’s kingdom.

In the context of marriage and child-rearing, Titus 2:4 plays a significant role by advising young women to love their husbands and children. The passage suggests that more experienced women should train the younger ones in wisdom, love, and purity, preparing them for their roles within their own families.

  • Instructions for young women in the Bible include:
    • To love their husbands and children
    • To be self-controlled and pure
    • To manage their households well
    • To be kind
    • To be submissive to their husbands

Managing the Household

In the realm of household management, the Bible provides guiding principles that emphasize the importance of meeting the home's needs. According to 1 Timothy 5:8, an individual must provide for their relatives, and specifically for members of their household, as failure to do so is seen as a denial of the faith.

The scriptures highlight the need for order and structure within the household:

  • Instruction: It is implied that there should be leadership that instructs and guides the family. This concept is reinforced through passages suggesting that one should manage not just a household, but "his own household" as seen in 1 Timothy 3:4-5.

  • Provision: The caretaker of a home is charged with the role of providing for both the physical and emotional needs of the family. This aspect is embodied in the encouragement that the head of the home should work diligently to ensure that their family's needs are met, thereby reflecting God's provisions for His church.

  • Support: Emotional and spiritual support frame the foundation of a biblical household, with the goal of creating a nurturing and faithful environment.

Scripture underscores the significance and sanctity of the family unit, portraying it as a reflection of one's relationship with God and the community of believers.

Cultural and Societal Context

In modern society, the Bible's teachings often intersect with cultural and societal norms. The interpretation of Scripture, such as 1 Peter 3:1, advises wives to be submissive to their husbands. This passage is sometimes viewed through a lens of shame within certain cultures, as it places a strong value on outward displays of respect and honor within the family unit.

Culture shapes understanding, and modern society often champions equality and shared partnership in marriage. As culture evolves, so too does the interpretation of biblical texts. The idea of women being entirely submissive to men may not align with contemporary values of mutual respect and love.

Biblical interpretations also take into account the broader world context where patriarchal norms have historically dominated but are now being challenged. The cultural and societal context of Biblical interpretation is, thus, both complex and dynamic, influenced by ancient texts and contemporary human rights discourse.

Conclusion

The teachings of the Bible provide guidance for wives in their treatment of husbands. They emphasize respect, love, and submission. "Respect her husband" (Ephesians 5:33) underscores the value placed on admiration and appreciation within marriage. The biblical text also urges husbands and wives to view their union as singular and intertwined. "They shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24) emphasizes oneness and mutual support.

Sexual fidelity is underscored as paramount, with the Bible denouncing the sexually immoral and highlighting the marriage bed as a space of purity (Hebrews 13:4). Couples are encouraged to maintain this sanctity, honoring one another's needs and the commitment they have made.

Furthermore, the act of love in marriage is likened to a sacrifice, a gesture of giving oneself fully and selflessly, wherein both husband and wife are blessed. Lastly, the energy and vitality of youth cherished in a spouse add joy to the marital relationship, underscoring the Bible's holistic view of marriage as a source of emotional and spiritual fulfillment.

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