What does the Bible say about open marriage?

Scriptural fidelity and exclusivity

By Shawn Buckles

The Bible views marriage as a sacred, monogamous bond, suggesting open marriage diverges from scriptural teachings on fidelity and exclusivity.

The Bible does not directly mention "open marriage," but its teachings promote monogamy and fidelity within marriage. Verses like Hebrews 13:4 and 1 Corinthians 7:2 emphasize the importance of faithfulness and the exclusive nature of the marital relationship.

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
Hebrews 13:4
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Matthew 5:28

Summary

  • Marriage in the Bible is defined as a monogamous and lifelong union.
  • Extramarital relations are not in alignment with biblical teachings on marriage.
  • The spiritual and moral framework of marriage in Christianity supports exclusivity and fidelity.

Bible mentions open marriage in the following books:

  • The Meaning of Marriage (2011) by Timothy Keller: Explores the Christian understanding of marriage as a spiritual friendship, highlighting the roles of mutual support and fulfillment.

  • Sacred Marriage (2000) by Gary Thomas: Poses the question, "What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?" to explore the spiritual purpose behind marital commitments.

  • Love and Respect (2004) by Emerson Eggerichs: Discusses the biblical command to husbands and wives to respect and love each other, offering practical applications for marital life.

  • The 5 Love Languages (1992) by Gary Chapman: Identifies the different ways people express and receive love, helping spouses to understand and meet each other's needs more effectively.

  • Boundaries in Marriage (1999) by Henry Cloud and John Townsend: Teaches how setting healthy boundaries can improve marital relationships, enabling couples to grow in love and respect.

Biblical Definition of Marriage

The Bible provides specific definitions and frameworks regarding the institution of marriage. It notably highlights it as a sacred covenant and emphasizes the union of man and woman.

Genesis on Marriage

In Genesis 2:24, marriage is introduced with a foundational principle where it is stated, "A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."

This scripture establishes the permanence and unity inherent in the marital bond. It indicates that husband and wife are to be intimately linked, supporting each other as a single entity.

Marriage as Covenant

Marriage is described as a covenant, a solemn and binding agreement, in several passages throughout the Bible.

For instance, Malachi 2:14 frames marriage as a "holy covenant before God." This covenant is not merely a contract between two people. It is a sacred vow that involves God as a witness and participant in the relationship. This signifies a pledge of lifelong commitment between a man and woman.

Moral Expectations of Marriage

In discussing what the Bible says about marriage, it asserts certain moral expectations. These include faithfulness and sexual purity, which are foundational to the Christian concept of marriage.

Adultery and Immorality

The Bible explicitly condemns adultery and sexual immorality.

Hebrews 13:4 states, "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral."

This verse underlines the expectation that marriage is to be an exclusive, lifelong covenant between spouses.

Adultery, in a biblical context, is a violation of this covenant and is considered a serious moral failing.

The moral imperatives provided in the scriptures are not only guidelines but commandments that the faithful are expected to uphold.

Sexual Purity

Sexual purity is another cornerstone of biblical marriage. It implies that sexual activity is reserved for the marriage relationship.

The biblical viewpoint is that any sexual relations outside of this covenant are considered immoral.

In support of this, various scripture passages outside the search results echo this sentiment. They suggest that sexual purity is integral to the fabric of marriage as designed by biblical principles.

The Bible encourages spouses to seek fulfillment with each other. This maintains the sanctity of their marital union.

Roles and Responsibilities

In the biblical context, the roles and responsibilities of husbands and wives in marriage are distinct yet harmonious. Various scriptures, including Ephesians 5, emphasize mutual support and respect.

Husband and Wife

The husband's role in a biblical marriage involves loving his wife as he does himself, showing her respect and honor.

Ephesians 5:33 specifically advises, "However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."

This scripture underscores the reciprocal nature of marital roles. The husband is responsible for providing love and the wife responding with respect.

Unity and Support

Unity and support serve as the foundational pillars of a biblical marriage.

Ephesians 5 encourages couples to view their relationship as a single entity. In this entity, the husband leads the family with wisdom and love. Meanwhile, the wife actively contributes to the family's well-being by managing the home and nurturing relationships.

Their partnership is anchored in support for each other's roles. This ensures the family thrives in a positive and loving environment.

Marriage and Society

In the context of society, marriage often intertwines with cultural expectations and legal frameworks. It serves not only as a personal commitment but also as an institution that reflects and shapes the norms of the community.

Monogamy and Culture

Monogamy, the practice of being married to one person at a time, is a tradition that many cultures hold central to their societal values.

The Bible, specifically in Genesis 2:24, tells of a man leaving his father and mother to unite with his wife, and they become one flesh.

This verse is frequently interpreted to support the idea that marriage should be between two individuals exclusively.

In many societies, monogamy is upheld as the ideal model for marriage. It encapsulates fidelity and trust within the partnership.

Marriage as a Social Anchor

Marriage is recognized as a stabilizing force in society. It establishes family units and often results in the birth and upbringing of children, contributing to the continuation of communities.

It provides a recognized structure for financial and emotional support, for partners and offspring alike. Through its legal recognition, marriage confers various rights and responsibilities. This deeply entwines individual lives with the broader social fabric.

Challenges in Marriage

Marriage is a union that can be both rewarding and challenging. Key challenges include facing temptations and dealing with the complexities of modern relational structures.

Temptation and Selfish Desires

In any marriage, a partner’s resolve can be tested by temptations and selfish desires.

The Bible implicitly cautions against allowing Satan to exploit these weaknesses.

For instance, in 1 Corinthians 7:2, it underscores the importance of fidelity. It hints at the risks temptation poses to the sanctity of marriage.

Open relationship concepts contrast sharply with traditional Biblical views on marriage.

Genesis 2:24 speaks to a unifying ideal where two become one. This suggests that marriage is an exclusive partnership.

Addressing modern ideas such as open marriage can be complex. It often requires partners to navigate between societal norms and personal or religious beliefs.

Spiritual Aspects of Marriage

Marriage, as described in the Bible, is not merely a legal contract. It encompasses a profound spiritual dimension. The sacred bonds of matrimony are designed to go beyond the physical and emotional connection between two people.

Prayer and Faith

Prayer and faith are foundational to the spiritual life of a marriage.

Couples are encouraged to pray together. This not only brings them closer to each other but strengthens their faith collectively.

This unified act of prayer is reflective of the unity they strive to achieve in their marriage.

Reflection of Christ's Love

Marriage is often referred to as a reflection of Christ's love for the church — a profound and sacrificial love.

The love between spouses should emulate the commitment and selflessness that Christ expressed. This serves as a tangible example of divine love in the world.

Sexuality within Marriage

Sexuality within the boundaries of marriage is a deeply spiritual and physical connection. It is intended to strengthen the partnership between spouses. The Bible provides clear guidance on the role and purpose of sexual intimacy in marriage.

Purpose of Sexual Intimacy

Sexual intimacy within marriage transcends mere physical pleasure.

It is designed as an act of unity, where a husband and wife can express their love and commitment to each other.

The Bible portrays this connection vividly in the Song of Solomon, an entire book dedicated to the celebration of romantic and physical love within the context of marriage.

The text encourages couples to delight and be captivated by each other's love.

Boundaries and Fidelity

The Bible emphasizes the importance of fidelity within marriage, outlining that sexual relations belong solely between husband and wife.

It speaks explicitly against infidelity, highlighting that the marriage bed must be kept pure. This respects the sacred covenant established between the two.

Understanding Biblical Sexuality in Marriage elaborates on the idea that spouses are entrusted with each other’s bodies. It calls them to honor and remain faithful to one another in all aspects, including the physical.

Alternative Relationships and Christianity

In approaching the topic of alternative relationships within Christianity, one quickly encounters divergent views on open marriage and sexual exclusivity. These views stem primarily from interpretations of biblical doctrine.

Open Marriage Considered

Open marriage involves a mutual agreement between spouses to engage in sexual acts with others.

This arrangement may include various forms of non-monogamy such as polyamory and swinging.

The idea behind an open marriage is to allow both husbands and wives freedom outside their exclusive bond.

While secular society may have varying opinions on this subject, Christianity offers a more defined outlook.

Biblical Stance on Sexual Exclusivity

Christian doctrine emphasizes the importance of an exclusive marital relationship.

Scripture often grounds the virtues of marriage in faithfulness and sexual exclusivity.

For example, Hebrews 13:4 states, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”

This verse encapsulates the Christian view that sexual activities should remain between husbands and wives within the framework of marriage.

Support and Healing in Marriage

In addressing the topic of open marriage from a biblical perspective, one finds that the Bible places emphasis on support and healing within the marital relationship. These principles are foundational to understanding the framework of marriage as designed by biblical teachings.

The Role of the Church

The Church plays a vital role in providing support and avenues for healing in marriages.

Congregations often offer counseling services, workshops, and retreats that focus on strengthening marital bonds.

According to 1 Corinthians 7:1-5, a passage often referenced when discussing marital issues, a man and woman should seek to satisfy each other's needs to avoid temptation.

The Church thereby acts as a supportive community. It offers guidance and resources that help couples navigate through challenges in their relationship, promoting a healthy and resilient marital union.

Forgiveness and Restoration

Forgiveness is an integral part of healing in any relationship, especially marriage.

The Bible encourages couples to forgive one another. For example, Ephesians 4:32 urges believers to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave them.

The journey towards restoration is often difficult. It requires patience and commitment, but it is achievable through mutual forgiveness.

In this process, the bond of marriage is not only restored but can also be strengthened. This reflects the redemptive power of forgiveness that is central to Christian teachings.

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