What does the Bible say about offense?

Forgiveness, peace, and reconciliation

By Shawn Buckles

Navigate offenses with grace: seek justice, offer forgiveness, and work towards reconciliation, guided by biblical wisdom and understanding.

The Bible advises against causing offense and taking offense easily. In Matthew 18:7, it warns of the inevitability of offenses but condemns causing them. Proverbs 19:11 suggests that it's wise to overlook an offense, promoting forgiveness and patience. The focus is on living in harmony, avoiding unnecessary conflict.

Then Peter came up and said to him, 'Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
Matthew 18:21-22
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Romans 12:18
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32

Summary

  • The Bible emphasizes the need for forgiveness and reconciliation when dealing with offenses.
  • An individual's response to offense has significant implications for their personal relationships and faith community.
  • The Lord provides practical wisdom through scriptures on how to overcome and learn from offenses.

Bible mentions offense in the following books:

  • The Bait of Satan: Living Free from the Deadly Trap of Offense (2004): John Bevere discusses how to live free from the bondage of offense, advocating for forgiveness and reconciliation in alignment with biblical teachings.

  • Unoffendable: How Just One Change Can Make All of Life Better (2015): Brant Hansen offers a unique perspective on choosing to live unoffendable, emphasizing forgiveness and the relinquishment of the right to be angry.

  • Total Forgiveness (2002): R.T. Kendall explores the challenging but freeing command to forgive fully, detailing the steps to release offenders and embrace God's call for reconciliation and peace.

  • The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict (2004): Ken Sande provides practical, scriptural guidance on resolving conflict and making peace, with tools for forgiveness and reconciliation within relationships.

  • Love Your Enemies: How to Break the Anger Habit & Be a Whole Lot Happier (2013): Sharon Salzberg and Robert Thurman delve into the teachings on love, forgiveness, and compassion, encouraging readers to transcend anger and hostility towards a life of happiness and peace.

Biblical Perspective on Offense

The Bible offers guidance on how individuals can understand and address offense, instructing believers to manage their emotions and interactions in a spiritual context.

Understanding Offense in Scripture

Scripture addresses the concept of offense as an emotional and spiritual condition that can arise from misdeeds or conflicts. Proverbs 19:11, as cited on ConnectUS, suggests that wisdom leads individuals to be slow to anger and to overlook an offense, emphasizing forgiveness and restraint.

Offense and Sin: A Biblical Connection

The connection between offense and sin is highlighted in the Bible. In Matthew 18:15, Jesus provides a framework for addressing sin, which can also be considered an offense, within the context of interpersonal relationships.

This verse, found on OpenBible.info, encourages confronting the individual who has committed the offense and seeking a resolution.

The Root Causes of Offense

The root causes of offense often involve spiritual and emotional elements such as temptation and a resentful spirit.

The term "stumbling block," which Jesus mentions in Matthew 18:7, can be associated with the idea of temptation leading to offense. As reported by Bible Tools, the original Greek term 'skandalon' referenced in the verse, represents the trigger of a trap, implying a lure into sin or offense.

Dealing with Offense in Personal Relationships

Navigating offenses in personal relationships can be challenging. The Bible provides guidance focusing on the resolution through forgiveness, addressing offenses directly, and the pursuit of unity within the faith community.

Offense Between Brothers and Sisters in Faith

When an offense occurs between individuals within the faith community, the Bible advocates for a direct but loving approach.

In Matthew 18:15-17, it is said, "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone." This promotes a personal and private discussion, allowing for a more kind and effective resolution. The goal is to restore unity without creating resentment or public embarrassment.

The Importance of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a cornerstone of Christian teaching on personal relationships.

Ephesians 4:32 encourages believers to be "kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

This act of forgiving not only releases the offending party from the burden of their mistake; it also grants the person who was wronged a sense of freedom and joy, mitigating the potential for a resentful heart.

Reconciliation and Repentance

The path to reconciliation is often paved with the acts of repentance and forgiveness.

2 Corinthians 5:18 speaks of the ministry of reconciliation, which is central to the relationships among believers.

When an offense has taken place, it is important for both sides to seek a return to peace. The offending party should seek to repent, meaning they turn away from the wrongdoing and strive to make amends.

Simultaneously, the one offended is encouraged to rebuke with love and seek reconciliation above division, embodying the forgiving nature of the Christian faith.

Offense's Impact on the Faith Community

Offenses within the church can significantly affect its unity and the effectiveness of its leadership. The Bible addresses these issues, offering wisdom on navigating and mitigating conflict.

Offense and Church Unity

Offense has the potential to disrupt the harmony within a church community. Proverbs 6:16-19 outlines behaviors that God dislikes, highlighting actions like sowing discord, which can directly impact church unity.

When a brother is offended, it can create factions and tensions, undermining the collaborative spirit that is essential in ministry work. The call to love one's neighbor as oneself in Leviticus 19:18 implies that fostering forgiveness and reconciliation is paramount to maintaining unity.

Offense in Leadership: Pharisees and Teachers

The role of the Pharisees and teachers as religious leaders in Biblical times was crucial, yet their behavior often led to offense.

Jesus' teachings in Matthew 23 caution against hypocrisy and pride, qualities often associated with the Pharisees, that can lead to offense.

This emphasizes the need for leaders to guide their disciples with humility and sincerity to prevent conflicts that can affect the ministry and community as a whole.

Jesus' Teachings on Offense

In the Bible, Jesus addresses the topic of offense with parables and direct counsel, underscoring the importance of forgiveness and the dangers of causing others to stumble.

Jesus often used parables to communicate deeper truths about offense.

One such teaching is the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant (Matthew 18:21-35), where He illustrates the necessity of forgiveness.

In this story, a servant who has been forgiven a great debt by his master later refuses to forgive a small debt owed by another servant. The master, hearing of this, revokes the servant's forgiveness, teaching that one must extend the kindness one has received to others.

He also warned of the severity of causing "little ones"—which can be understood as new believers or those humble in spirit—to stumble. He said it would be better for a person to have a millstone tied around their neck and be cast into the sea than to cause one of these little ones to fall into sin.

This teaching underscores the Lord's concern for the spiritual wellbeing of His followers and the responsibilities of discipleship.

Jesus' Response to Being Offended

Though Jesus experienced offense, He responded with forgiveness and by fulfilling His mission.

While being crucified, Jesus asked His Father to forgive those responsible, saying, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34).

This response reveals the heart of the Lord towards even those who gravely sin against Him.

He also taught directly on how to handle personal offenses.

In Matthew 18:15-17, Jesus outlined a process for dealing with personal offenses within the community of believers, emphasizing direct communication, mediation by one or two others if necessary, and trust in collective wisdom.

Additionally, He politely but firmly rebuked the Pharisees when they took offense at His teachings, emphasizing that temptations to sin are inevitable but woe to the person through whom they come (Matthew 18:7).

Proverbs and Wisdom Literature on Offense

The book of Proverbs in the Bible is a rich source of wisdom on a variety of topics, including how to deal with offenses.

Proverbs 19:11 says, "A person's wisdom yields patience; it is to one's glory to overlook an offense." This verse emphasizes the strength found in patience and the virtue of forgiving others.

Contrasting the approach to offenses, Proverbs 18:19 notes, "A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city." This reflects how deeply an offense can affect personal relationships, making reconciliation challenging.

The wisdom literature encourages individuals to pursue love and peace rather than allowing offenses to create discord.

Love is shown to be an effective balm that can soothe conflicts and bring about forgiveness. In cultivating peace, one practices patience and exercises the knowledge of when to address an issue and when to overlook an offense.

In essence, the wisdom found in Proverbs advocates for a measured response to offenses, weighing the value of maintaining harmony over asserting one's right to be upset.

The underlying message is that wisdom leads to peace, and through patience and love, one can navigate the complexities of interpersonal strife.

Apostolic Teachings on Offense

The Apostolic writings, particularly those by Paul, provide guidance on how to handle offense and live a life that minimizes causing offense to others.

Paul's Messages on Offense

Paul addressed the topic of offense by focusing on the virtue of love and the fruit of the Spirit. In his letters, he encouraged believers to exercise kindness and patience, which are critical in managing personal offenses.

For instance, in Romans 14:21, he advised that it is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to be offended.

The essence of Paul's message is to act out of love and consideration for the peace and well-being of others, especially within the community of faith.

Living Without Causing Offense

Paul also provided instructions on how to live without causing offense to others.

He emphasized the importance of being mindful of one's actions and the impact they have, as stated in 1 Corinthians 10:32: "Give none offense, neither to the Jews, nor to the Gentiles, nor to the church of God".

He invited believers to live each day with an awareness of the spirit in which they act, ensuring that their actions promote unity and kindness, without causing undue offense to anyone, whether they be Jews, Gentiles, or the church at large.

Practical Steps to Overcome Offense

In addressing offense biblically, individuals are encouraged to develop inner resilience and nurture a heart inclined towards forgiveness. These steps are guided by principles of patience, gentleness, and love as taught in the scriptures.

Building Resilience Against Offense

Building resilience against offense begins by strengthening one's spirit through practices that promote peace and goodness.

Individuals can meditate on scriptural truths that emphasize the value of patience and gentleness in the face of potential conflict. An example of this is found in Proverbs 19:11, which states, "A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense."

  • Read and reflect on biblical passages about peace.
  • Pray for inner strength to resist feelings of anger when offended.

Cultivating a spirit of resilience allows individuals to respond to offenses not with rash anger, but with a calm and peaceful disposition, demonstrating the goodness that comes from a life led by the Spirit.

Cultivating a Forgiving Heart

To cultivate a forgiving heart, individuals are invited to practice love and forgiveness as central tenets of their faith.

It involves recognizing that everyone makes mistakes and extending grace as generously as God does.

Embracing forgiveness can lead to freedom from the burden of resentment.

Jesus' words in Matthew 18:7, "Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes," challenge believers to be proactive in forgiving rather than being a source of offense themselves.

  • Remind oneself of the importance of forgiving as God forgives.
  • Actively let go of grudges and seek to restore relationships with a gentle spirit.

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