What does the Bible say about long distance relationships?

Faith bridging distances

By Shawn Buckles

Navigating a long-distance relationship? The Bible, while silent on the specifics, teaches love's patience and endurance through verses like 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, offering a foundation to overcome the miles.

The Bible doesn't specifically mention long-distance relationships but emphasizes love, trust, patience, and communication. These principles can support long-distance relationships, suggesting faith and commitment can overcome physical distance.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
Colossians 4:6
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
Ephesians 4:2

Summary

  • Biblical teachings on love, trust, and communication offer valuable insight for long-distance relationships.
  • Scripture emphasizes patience and faith as crucial in maintaining emotional bonds from afar.
  • Biblical principles on purity and spiritual support serve as foundational elements in long-distance relationship dynamics.

Bible mentions long distance relationships in the following books:

  • The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts (2015): Gary Chapman's book delves into understanding and speaking your partner's love language. It's relevant for nurturing love and understanding in long-distance relationships, aligning with biblical principles of patience and love.

  • Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs (2004): Emerson Eggerichs explores the biblical command to love and respect one another in relationships. This book emphasizes the importance of mutual respect and love, crucial for maintaining trust and effective communication over distance.

  • Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships (2000): By Henry Cloud and John Townsend, this book provides guidance on establishing healthy boundaries, which is essential for trust and communication in long-distance relationships, reflecting biblical teachings on love and respect.

  • The Power of Praying® for Your Adult Children (2014): Stormie Omartian's book, although focused on parenting, offers insights into the power of prayer in relationships. It underscores the importance of trust in God and patience, principles that can be applied to long-distance relationships.

  • Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy? (2000): Gary Thomas challenges readers to see marriage and relationships as tools for spiritual growth, emphasizing love, patience, and commitment—key elements for navigating the challenges of long-distance relationships.

Biblical Foundations for Relationships

In the biblical perspective, relationships are fundamental and hold significant purpose. The scripture outlines the creator’s intentions and the dynamic between individuals.

God’s Design for Relationships

According to the Bible, God created humans for companionship, stating it is not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18).

Relationships, therefore, have been intrinsic to the human experience since creation. The partnership between a husband and wife is emphasized, indicating that they should unite and become one flesh (Genesis 2:24), a principle echoed by Jesus in Matthew 19:6, which highlights the enduring bond of marriage.

Roles and Responsibilities

The Epistles provide further guidance on the specific roles and responsibilities within a marital relationship.

Ephesians 5:25 instructs husbands to love their wives just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, implying a profound selfless love.

The parallel guidance for wives is found in Colossians 3:18, urging wives to submit to their husbands. However, this is set within the context of mutual submission and love, as 1 Peter 4:8 encapsulates the overarching principle: “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”

Characteristics of Love in the Bible

In the Bible, love is a central theme, depicted as a powerful force that epitomizes moral goodness and a key virtue in relationships. This section explores its definition and maintenance, especially its significance in long-distance relationships.

Defining Love

According to the Bible, love is an action more than a feeling. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, love’s characteristics are listed in detail:

  • 1 Corinthians 13:4: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”
  • Proverbs 10:12: “Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.”

Love, as described in 1 John 4:8, is essential to the nature of God, “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

Maintaining Love Over Distance

The Bible does not explicitly discuss long-distance relationships in modern terms, but principles of love found within it can still apply regardless of physical proximity.

  • 1 Corinthians 13:7: “It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
  • Genesis 29:20: Illustrating love’s fortitude, Jacob’s love for Rachel felt like “only a few days” despite seven years of work because of his great love for her.

Faith and Trust in Long-Distance Relationships

In long-distance relationships, faith and trust are the bedrock that stabilizes the connection when physical presence is lacking. These virtues foster emotional intimacy and help couples navigate the inherent difficulties of distance.

Building and Sustaining Trust

Trust is the foundation upon which all relationships are built, and it becomes even more critical when distance is involved.

Couples must rely on communication to build and maintain trust. As Proverbs 3:5 teaches, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.”

This verse can be applied to relationships by encouraging partners to trust in each other and not to jump to conclusions when misunderstandings arise.

Regular and honest conversations, where they listen to each other as advised in James 1:19—“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry”—can reinforce trust over time.

Overcoming Challenges Through Faith

Long-distance relationships often require partners to endure trials that test their resilience.

Faith plays a significant role in overcoming these challenges, giving partners the strength to believe in a future together despite current hardships.

Philippians 4:6 urges believers, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

By entrusting their worries to a higher power, individuals in long-distance relationships can find peace and patience.

Furthermore, Romans 8:18, which says, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us,” can inspire couples to look beyond immediate struggles, anticipating the joy of eventual reunion.

Communication and Intimacy from Afar

In long-distance relationships, maintaining clear communication and intimacy is challenging yet crucial. This section explores the practical ways to foster both, with guidance from biblical wisdom.

Effective Communication Strategies

  • Listen Before Speaking: Drawing from James 1:19, it’s important for individuals to be “quick to listen, slow to speak” in their interactions. Active listening enhances understanding and empathy between partners.

  • Gentle and Respectful Words: Proverbs 15:1 teaches that “a gentle answer turns away wrath,” underscoring the value of calm and kind communication, which can alleviate potential conflicts across distances.

Maintaining Intimacy and Unity

  • Forgiveness and Patience: Colossians 3:13 emphasizes the need for bearing with each other and forgiving one another. This grace is essential in nurturing a harmonious bond.

  • Prioritizing the Relationship: According to Matthew 6:33, seeking first the kingdom of God applies to relationships as well, placing shared spiritual values at the core of intimacy.

  • Teamwork: Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 praises the strength of two working together. Couples can apply this by setting goals and tackling challenges as a united front, sustaining their connection despite the distance.

Dealing with Temptation and Purity

In long distance relationships, maintaining purity and resisting temptation can be especially challenging. This section explores biblical guidance on staying true to one’s values even when apart from one’s partner.

Resisting Sexual Temptation

One of the key scriptures addressing sexual immorality is 1 Corinthians 6:18: “Flee from sexual immorality.”

This passage emphasizes the importance of not just resisting but actively avoiding situations that could lead to sexual sin.

It is crucial for individuals in a long distance relationship to set clear boundaries and adhere to them, avoiding circumstances that may trigger sexual temptation.

  • Avoid Tempting Situations: Being proactive in avoiding circumstances that could lead to compromise is a practical approach.
  • Stay Accountable: Having a trustworthy friend or mentor to talk to can provide support and accountability.

Fostering Purity in Actions and Thoughts

Fostering purity goes beyond actions; it also encompasses one’s thoughts and intentions.

Philippians 4:8 instructs believers to focus on whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable.

In a long distance relationship, this can involve:

  • Pure Communications: Ensuring conversations and digital interactions honor the standard of purity set forth in Scripture.
  • Committing one’s actions and thoughts to align with God’s will as directed in 1 Thessalonians 4:3: “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality.”

It is also helpful to consider the principle of being equally yoked from 2 Corinthians 6:14, implying that one’s partner should share the same commitment to purity and mutual growth in Christ.

This shared commitment can be the anchor that helps both individuals to resist temptation and maintain purity in their relationship.

Spiritual Growth and Support

In long-distance relationships, spiritual growth and support play a pivotal role in maintaining connection and resilience. They can rely on spiritual disciplines such as prayer and mutual encouragement to strengthen their bond.

Praying for Each Other

They can bolster their relationship through consistent prayer.

By praying for one another, partners demonstrate care and seek divine guidance and strength for each other’s lives.

A constant prayer habit, inspired by Luke 18:1, encourages them to always pray and not give up, fostering a spirit of perseverance despite the distance.

Encouraging Spiritual Development

Supporting each other’s spiritual development is also essential.

They can share spiritual insights or discuss a passage from the Scriptures, like Proverbs 27:17, which illustrates how one person sharpens another.

Moreover, 1 Thessalonians 5:11 reminds them to build each other up, which can involve discussing challenges or victories in faith.

The Bible likens a threefold cord to a strong relationship in Ecclesiastes 4:12, emphasizing the support they provide each other, with the third cord being God, creating a resilient tie that endures.

Scriptural Insights for Long-Distance Relationship Challenges

Scriptural teachings can offer valuable insights for couples in long-distance relationships, emphasizing the importance of virtues like patience and wisdom in overcoming the inherent challenges.

Patience and Perseverance

In long-distance relationships, patience is more than just waiting; it’s about maintaining strength and positivity during separation.

Romans 5:3 underscores the value of perseverance, reminding couples that suffering produces endurance. This passage offers comfort in knowing that the challenges faced in a long-distance relationship can contribute to building a stronger bond between partners.

Additionally, Psalm 27:14 encourages individuals to “wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord.”

Such guidance suggests that patience will be rewarded, and individuals are urged to lean on their faith for support.

Seeking Wisdom and Guidance

The complexity of managing a long-distance relationship often requires divine wisdom and guidance.

Proverbs 4:23 advises to “above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it,” advocating for a discerning heart and the protective guidance of one’s emotions and spirit.

Furthermore, James 1:5 promises that “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”

Couples are thus encouraged to seek God’s wisdom in navigating their relationship’s challenges, ensuring their actions and decisions are aligned with His teachings.

Conclusion

In exploring the landscape of long-distance relationships through a biblical lens, Christians are encouraged to hold relationships to a standard of faith and commitment to Christ.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 offers a clear description of love. Those in long-distance relationships can find hope, courage, and strength in these words. They can apply patience, truth, and resilience to their unique circumstances.

It is evident that individuals must foster communication, trust, and relentless effort. These traits are essential in any relationship, but crucial when faced with physical separation.

The Bible also brings attention to the importance of companionship and intimacy. It acknowledges the challenges presented by distance, but does not deem them insurmountable.

Ultimately, they are reminded that love "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." This suggests that with dedication and shared faith, love can persevere through the challenges of distance.

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