What does the Bible say about keeping your distance?

Balancing caution with love

By Shawn Buckles

Scripture tells you to wisely choose who you're around, mixing caution with love. It's about balancing close ties and smart distance to protect your faith and respect others.

The Bible doesn't directly say "keep your distance" in those terms, but it offers wisdom on avoiding bad influences and disputes. Proverbs 22:24 advises against befriending angry people to avoid learning their ways, suggesting a form of distancing from harmful behaviors.

Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character.'
1 Corinthians 15:33
Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:
Proverbs 22:24
Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge.
Proverbs 14:7

Summary

  • Scripture advises distancing in some situations to protect spiritual integrity.
  • Biblical teachings encourage a balance of community engagement and discerning separation.
  • Love and holiness are central to managing social interactions according to the Bible.

Bible mentions keeping your distance in the following books:

  • Boundaries (1992): This book, by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, offers a biblical foundation for understanding how setting healthy boundaries can improve relationships. It provides practical advice on when to say yes and how to say no to take control of your life, emphasizing the significance of maintaining distance for personal and spiritual well-being.

  • The Pursuit of Holiness (1978): Jerry Bridges' book delves into the biblical call to holiness and how it requires us to make a conscious effort to separate from sin and cultivate a closer relationship with God. It underscores the importance of choosing our associations carefully to protect our spiritual integrity.

  • When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People (2019): Gary Thomas discusses the biblical basis for understanding that not all relationships are beneficial and that sometimes, maintaining distance is necessary for our spiritual health. Drawing from Jesus' own experiences, Thomas illustrates when it's wise to disengage from harmful associations to preserve one's faith and well-being.

  • Not in My Circle: Choosing Community and Discernment in Relationships (2021): This book explores the biblical principles behind choosing one's social circle with discernment, emphasizing the protection of one's moral and spiritual integrity. It provides insights into navigating relationships in a way that aligns with Christian values, highlighting the importance of community and the wisdom of keeping a distance when necessary.

Biblical Foundations of Distance

Throughout the Bible, the concept of distance is explored both physically and spiritually. It illustrates the importance of separation for holiness and the repercussions of distancing from evil.

Creation and Separation

In the beginning, Genesis portrays the act of creation as an event of divine separation. God separated light from darkness (Genesis 1:4) and the land from the waters (Genesis 1:9), establishing early on that there are boundaries within His creation.

These acts of separation emphasize that God values order and distinction.

Old Testament Teachings

The Old Testament is rich with teachings on distance and separation. In Leviticus, God gives laws that separate the Israelites from their neighbors in diet, behavior, and worship, marking them as distinct (Leviticus 20:24-26).

Deuteronomy elaborates on maintaining a physical distance to uphold spiritual commitment, as seen in Deuteronomy 14:24, where if the journey is too far, alternative offerings are allowed.

Another significant instance is in Joshua 3:4, where the Israelites are instructed to watch and keep a distance from the Ark of the Covenant, symbolizing reverence and the need to witness God's guidance from a respectful space.

New Testament Insights

In the New Testament, distance takes on more intricate spiritual dimensions.

Jesus' teachings in the book of Matthew include advice on how to treat a brother who sins against you, suggesting that a measured distance may be necessary for repentance (Matthew 18:15-17).

John's narrative presents the idea that distancing oneself from evil is an act of maintaining spiritual health (3 John 1:11).

Ephesians speaks of psychological distancing, as believers are instructed to put on the full armor of God as a guard against the devil's schemes (Ephesians 6:11), indicating a metaphorical space between good and evil.

Maintaining Spiritual Health

In discussing spiritual health according to the Bible, it's essential to consider the importance of guarding the heart, resisting temptation, and understanding the impact of associations and influence.

Guarding the Heart

The Bible places significant emphasis on the state of the heart, viewing it as the wellspring of life. As Proverbs 4:23 advises, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."

This underscores the importance of monitoring one's inner thoughts and feelings as a means of maintaining spiritual health.

Resisting Temptation

1 Corinthians 10:13 offers assurance that no temptation is insurmountable: "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear."

Resisting temptation is key to spiritual health, and Scripture assures that God provides a way to overcome these challenges by leaning on His strength and wisdom.

Association and Influence

Associating with the right company is vital, as stated in Proverbs 13:20: "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm."

The Bible also instructs to avoid bad influences, as indicated in Ephesians 5:11: "Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them."

These scriptures suggest that one's company can profoundly affect one's spiritual well-being, either positively or negatively.

Social Dynamics in Scripture

The Bible provides various guidelines on social dynamics, emphasizing the importance of community, relationships, and the function of the church.

These components are critical to understanding how the Scriptures advocate for a balance between togetherness and prudent separation.

Community and Isolation

The Bible advocates for community as God saw it was not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). From the early days of the faith, the importance of fellowship was evident, with believers sharing meals and prayers (Acts 2:42-47).

However, there are times when isolation is necessary, such as when dealing with sickness, to prevent the spread of disease, as instructed in Leviticus 13.

Teachings on Relationships

Partnership is a recurring theme in the Scriptures.

For instance, in 1 Corinthians 10:16-22, Paul speaks about the 'cup of blessing' and 'bread' as participation in the blood and body of Christ, symbolizing the interconnectedness of believers.

In the area of intimate relationships, Christians are cautioned to avoid being unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14) and to choose relationships that honor God.

The Church's Role

In the New Testament, the church, referred to as the Body of Christ, serves as a beacon of doctrine and worship.

It is a place for teaching and celebration, where followers come together as a community (1 Corinthians 14:26).

Attendees are encouraged to "greet" one another warmly, expressing unity and love (Romans 16:5) while also being mindful to maintain purity in the faith.

Practices of Holiness

In discussing what the Bible says about holiness, one must consider both personal and communal aspects that shape a believer's walk of faith.

Personal Sanctification

Personal sanctification is the process where individuals are called to be set apart, pursuing a life reflective of God's holiness.

1 Peter 1:16 states, "Be holy, for I am holy," establishing the divine expectation of holiness.

This calls for a practical outworking of faith, involving daily decisions guided by love and a desire to honor God.

In Romans 6, believers are urged to offer themselves to God as instruments for righteousness. The practice involves a conscious decision to resist sin and incorporates habits like prayer, reading Scripture, and meditating on God's truths.

Corporate Worship

Corporate worship unites believers in communal practices that affirm and strengthen their faith.

Acts 2:42 illustrates early Christians dedicating themselves to teaching, fellowship, breaking of bread, and prayers.

This not only fosters a sense of community but also serves as a platform where believers can exhort and encourage one another in holiness, as seen in Hebrews 10:24-25.

Corporate worship involves collective practices such as singing hymns from Ephesians 5:19, reading scripture aloud, and partaking in the Lord's Supper, drawing from 1 Corinthians 11.

It is within these shared experiences that faith is expressed visibly and tangibly, reinforcing the bonds of love and collective pursuit of holiness.

Ecclesiastical Separation

Ecclesiastical separation refers to the idea within certain Christian circles that the church should maintain a clear distinction from secular institutions and beliefs that are contrary to biblical doctrine.

This concept is rooted in the desire for spiritual purity and integrity within the body of believers.

1 Timothy underscores the importance of upholding sound doctrine and morals within the church. It emphasizes teaching and upholding the truth as a guard against false teachings that can infiltrate and undermine the church's integrity.

In Acts 20:28-31, church leaders are admonished to be vigilant, "Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock, over the which the Holy Ghost hath made you overseers", indicating a responsibility to protect the church from harmful influences.

It's about being watchful of both external pressures and internal developments that can lead believers astray.

The Book of Galatians speaks to the need for separation by warning the early Christians against reverting to the law and becoming entangled with non-biblical practices.

It focuses on the freedom believers have in Christ, cautioning them against compromising that liberty by conforming to legalistic or worldly ways.

Revelation also touches upon separation in the context of the end times, calling Christians to persevere in their distinct identity and practices in the face of pervasive societal immorality and idolatry.

Ecclesiastical separation involves discernment and sometimes tough decisions to preserve the teachings and sanctity of the church as outlined in the Scriptures.

Encouragement and Hope

The Bible provides comfort and reassurance that, even at a distance, one is never truly alone. It offers promise of divine presence and the imperative to live by faith.

Promise of God's Presence

God's unwavering presence is a central theme in the Bible, offering hope and encouragement even when physical proximity to others is not possible.

In Genesis, God speaks directly to individuals, assuring them of His watchfulness. For example, in Genesis 31:49, a Mizpah is invoked as a symbol of God's watchful eye over separated loved ones: "The Lord watch between you and me, when we are out of one another's sight."

Living by Faith

Faith is the conviction of what is not seen (Hebrews 11:1) and crucial for those in long-distance relationships.

Christians are encouraged to "live by faith, not by sight" (2 Corinthians 5:7). This passage from 2 Corinthians is particularly poignant for those who must trust and hope in their relationship from a distance.

Matthew 19:26 reminds them that with God, all things are possible, serving as an encouragement to trust in Christ's strength rather than solely in earthly circumstances.

Concluding Thoughts

The Bible provides guidance on many aspects of life, including the concept of keeping one's distance. Scriptures suggest that there are times when it is wise to distance oneself from harmful influences.

For instance, 2 Thessalonians 3:14 advises to avoid association with those who do not obey Biblical teachings, hoping they may feel compelled to change.

Prayer is seen as a fundamental practice for Christians seeking divine direction on when and how to maintain distance for their spiritual well-being.

It is through prayer one might receive revelation or insight into the appropriate boundaries to set in relationships.

The Bible also encourages believers to seek rest in the presence of God, as indicated in Matthew 11:28. This form of spiritual rest often entails stepping away from chaotic environments to find peace and rejuvenation.

Lastly, doctrines play a critical role in informing believers when to draw near and when to step back. Passages such as Romans 16:17 instruct to avoid those who cause divisions contrary to the teachings they have learned.

Believers are thus encouraged to be discerning, using Biblical principles to navigate their interactions with others.

They are reminded that keeping distance is not about isolation, but about preserving one’s moral integrity and spiritual health.

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