What does the Bible say about a husband?

Leading with love and respect

By Shawn Buckles

Discover how the Bible guides husbands in their marital role, emphasizing love, respect, and spiritual leadership. It's about more than just providing; it's nurturing a strong, loving bond with your wife.

The Bible describes a husband as a leader, provider, and protector, who should love his wife selflessly, as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25-33). He is called to honor, respect, and be faithful to his wife, working together in partnership.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
1 Peter 3:7
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
Colossians 3:19

Summary

  • Husbands are called to love and honor their wives as a reflection of Christ's love for the church.
  • The spiritual leadership of a husband is central to cultivating a harmonious and faithful household.
  • Managing challenges and maintaining the household are key aspects of a husband's biblical responsibilities.

Bible mentions husband in the following books:

  • The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate (1992) by Gary Chapman: This book helps husbands understand how to show love to their wives through their preferred love language, fostering a deeper, more respectful, and loving relationship.

  • Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs (2004) by Emerson Eggerichs: Explores the biblical call for husbands to love their wives and for wives to respect their husbands, highlighting the importance of mutual understanding and respect in marriage.

  • The Exemplary Husband: A Biblical Perspective (2000) by Stuart Scott: Offers guidance for husbands striving to fulfill their biblical role within the marriage, emphasizing the importance of selfless love, spiritual leadership, and a Christ-centered relationship.

  • The Man in the Mirror: Solving the 24 Problems Men Face (1989) by Patrick Morley: This book addresses the challenges men face in their personal and spiritual lives, including their roles as husbands, and offers biblical solutions to align with God’s expectations for marriage.

Biblical View of Marriage and Husbands

The Bible offers a profound look at marriage and the role of husbands through its scriptures. It describes marriage as a divinely established institution and delineates the roles and duties of a husband within this union.

Creation of Marriage

In the Book of Genesis, God instituted marriage as a foundational component of human society. Genesis 2:24 establishes this bond with the words, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."

This scripture highlights the inception of the marital relationship as God's design, with marriage intended to be a permanent, exclusive union between a man and a woman, giving structure and stability to family life.

Roles and Responsibilities of a Husband

The Bible in Ephesians 5 clearly outlines the roles and responsibilities of a husband. Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Ephesians 5:25 reads, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."

They are to be the head of their wives as Christ is the head of the church, leading with love, grace, and selflessness. The passage suggests that a husband's role involves providing for, protecting, and cherishing their spouse.

Unity and Oneness in Marriage

The scriptures stress the importance of unity and oneness in marriage, using Christ's bond with the church as a model. The husband and wife are to function as one entity, a theme reinforced in passages like Ephesians 5:28-29 which say, "In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church."

The idea of oneness encompasses both the physical union of marriage and the emotional and spiritual bonding that reflects the harmonious relationship between Christ and the body of believers.

Husband's Love and Honor for Wife

In biblical teachings, the love and honor a husband bestows upon his wife are fundamental virtues. These qualities are reflected in the scriptural exhortations that model a husband's love on the sacrificial love of Christ and call for a deep understanding of the wife.

Loving as Christ Loved

The Bible instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church—a love marked by sacrifice and selflessness. In Ephesians 5:25, husbands are exhorted to show this profound level of love, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."

This scripture underscores the expectation of a love that is willing to make personal sacrifices for the benefit of one’s spouse.

Honor and Understanding the Wife

Respect and empathy are key in honoring one's wife. 1 Peter 3:7 offers guidance in this regard, advising husbands to be considerate and to turn the marital connection into a joint journey of mutual respect: "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."

The scripture promotes an empathetic and thoughtful approach, recognizing the value of the wife as an equal partner.

The Spiritual Leadership of a Husband

The role of a husband as a spiritual leader encompasses guiding his family through prayer, faith, and biblical instruction. Encouraging growth in wisdom and understanding within the context of faith is central to his leadership.

Leading in Prayer and Faith

A husband who leads his family in prayer and faith creates a foundational base for spiritual growth. A key scripture addressing this is found in Ephesians 6:4, where it instructs fathers not to provoke their children to anger but to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

It is through consistent prayer and demonstration of faith in daily life that a husband models the importance of a relationship with God.

Instruction and Growth

The spiritual leadership of a husband also involves providing instruction to his family. This includes teaching his children the values and wisdom found in biblical truths.

While the church plays a significant role in spiritual education, the husband ensures these teachings resonate within the home. He nurtures spiritual maturity and growth, shaping his family's understanding and application of their faith.

A husband's guidance in these areas does not manifest as a dominion over his family but rather as loving stewardship, reflective of the principles laid down in scriptures.

Characteristics of a Good Husband

In discussing characteristics of a good husband, it is essential to reference scriptural roles and virtues such as self-control, faithfulness, and understanding. These traits align with biblical expectations and form the foundation for a healthy marriage.

Self-Control and Temperance

A husband is expected to demonstrate self-control and temperance in his actions and words. The Bible states, "For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control" (2 Timothy 1:7).

In situations that might provoke anger or frustration, a good husband works to maintain composure, knowing that "A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls" (Proverbs 25:28). By exhibiting self-restraint, he becomes a model of stability and strength in his marriage.

Purity and Faithfulness

The purity and faithfulness of a husband are paramount, reflecting his commitment to both God and his spouse. The call for purity stems from the heart, as Jesus taught, "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God" (Matthew 5:8).

Moreover, faithfulness is a critical characteristic, fortified by the admonition that husbands should love their wives "as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25).

It is said, "Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies" (Ephesians 5:28), implying that lust for others is anathema to marital fidelity. A husband shows his love through his commitment and responsibility to his family, knowing that "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever" (1 Timothy 5:8).

Managing the Household

Managing a household is a multifaceted responsibility, involving the provision of resources, protection, and moral direction. The Bible speaks volumes on these duties, particularly highlighting the importance of diligence and integrity in fulfilling one's role within the family unit.

Providing and Protecting

The Bible underscores the role of a husband as a provider and protector. For instance, 1 Timothy 5:8 states, "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."

This passage asserts the critical nature of a husband's role in ensuring the material needs of his family are met. Proverbs 31 praises the worth of a husband who can entrust his heart to his industrious wife, further affirming that the duty of providing is a shared responsibility, enhancing the family's welfare and security.

Parental Duties and Guidance

When it comes to parental duties and guidance, Ephesians 6:4 advises, "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

This speaks to the necessity of balancing discipline with nurturing guidance, allowing a father to fulfill his role not only as an authority figure but also as a wise teacher. The implication is clear that fathers and husbands are to lead their children through example and biblical teaching, instilling values and shaping character.

Dealing with Challenges

When a husband faces challenges, the Bible provides guidance on maintaining integrity and love within the marriage. It emphasizes overcoming temptations and conflicts, as well as managing financial and emotional struggles, to nurture a strong marital bond.

Overcoming Temptation and Conflict

The Bible cautions against the wiles of temptation, highlighting that self-control is a man's safeguard against them. "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality" (1 Thessalonians 4:3).

Proverbs 5:18 also reminds a husband to find joy with the wife of his youth, implying that one should resist the urge to stray, a temptation that Satan may use to damage a marital relationship.

Conflict is inevitable in marriage, but the key is resolving disputes with love and respect. Ephesians 4:26 advises, "Do not let the sun go down on your anger," suggesting that a husband should address conflicts promptly and not allow resentments to linger.

Economic struggles can strain a marriage, but the Bible encourages wise stewardship and trust in God's provision. Proverbs 13:11 states, "Wealth gained hastily will dwindle, but whoever gathers little by little will increase it."

This verse encourages gradual and honest earning, which can alleviate financial stress.

Emotional struggles, including pain or stress, require empathetic communication. Galatians 6:2 instructs to "Bear one another's burdens," guiding husbands to support their wives emotionally.

Ecclesiastes 4:9 underscores the benefit of this support: "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor." Sharing the emotional load strengthens the marriage bond.

Concluding Thoughts on Husband Roles

In the framework of the Christian marriage, the Bible provides specific guidance regarding the role of a husband. Ephesians 5:33 implores, "each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." This scripture suggests that love and respect are reciprocal duties within a marriage, setting a foundation for a harmonious family life.

  • Love: Central to his role, a husband is called to demonstrate love, emulating the love Christ showed for the church.
  • Leadership: He should also embody leadership. This means not as a dictator, but as a servant leader, considering the interests of his wife and family foremost.
  • Respect: Mutual respect is indispensable, as it fosters trust and deepens the relationship.

Beyond these, the husband's role extends to providing spiritual leadership and ensuring the overall well-being of the family. He should love his wife with patience and kindness, always striving to support and uplift her.


Understanding: A husband should neither underestimate the importance of empathy nor overlook the strength that comes from truly understanding his partner.

Unity: He and his wife are to work together as a team. They should face challenges and celebrate victories as one.

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