What does the Bible say about conflict?

Biblical pathways to reconciliation

By Shawn Buckles

The Bible tackles conflict head-on, offering wisdom on navigating disagreements with a focus on forgiveness and peace. Its timeless advice helps us reflect God's character in our daily lives.

The Bible addresses conflict by advocating for peace, forgiveness, and reconciliation. It encourages resolving disputes amicably (Matthew 18:15-17), promoting peace (Romans 12:18), and forgiving others as God forgives us (Colossians 3:13). It acknowledges conflicts but urges believers to handle them with love and wisdom.

If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
Matthew 18:15-17
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
Romans 12:18
For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
James 3:16-18

Summary

  • The Bible provides a blueprint for resolving conflict, stressing forgiveness and peace.
  • Jesus' teachings and apostolic letters offer practical solutions for conflict management.
  • Biblical stories and proverbs give timeless wisdom on pursuing righteousness in relationships.

Biblical Perspectives on Conflict

The Bible provides a nuanced view of conflict, addressing its origins, impacts, and the path toward resolution.

Scripture conveys that while conflict is often the result of sin and can damage relationships, it also presents opportunities for exercising Christian virtues like love, wisdom, and patience.

Understanding Conflict in the Bible

Conflict is integral to many biblical narratives and teaching. Throughout Scripture, conflicts arise as part of the human experience. These stories do not shy away from showing the complexity of human emotions, including anger and quarrels among individuals or groups.

For instance, the Old Testament describes personal conflict between David and Saul, and interpersonal conflict within the family, such as between Abram and Lot.

Conflict as a Result of Sin

The Bible often links conflict to sin. James 4:1-2 states, "What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?" This indicates that personal desires and sin are at the root of many disputes.

Recognizing sin's role in conflict paves the way for resolution—by addressing the sin, the path to reconciling relationships becomes clearer.

Conflict and Human Relationships

The New Testament provides wisdom on resolving conflicts within relationships.

"Love is patient and kind; it does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way" (1 Corinthians 13:4-5).

Here, the apostle Paul lays out how love should govern personal relationships, even amidst disagreements.

For resolving interpersonal tensions, Jesus offers a step-by-step process in Matthew 18:15-17, advocating for confronting the person directly, then with witnesses, and finally with the church if needed, always seeking reconciliation.

Guidance from Jesus on Conflict

In addressing conflict, Jesus emphasized reconciliation, forgiveness, and responding with love and humility. His teachings provide clear, actionable guidance for handling disagreements in a way that reflects Christian values and promotes peace.

Jesus’ Teachings on Reconciliation

Jesus taught the value of resolving conflicts promptly and privately, emphasizing direct communication between parties.

In Matthew 18:15-17, He outlined steps for individuals to follow when a wrong has occurred: confront the individual, bring witnesses if necessary, and finally, seek the help of the church if no resolution is found.

This method prioritizes personal responsibility and active engagement in seeking peace.

The Importance of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a recurring theme in Jesus's teachings.

He highlighted that one should be willing to forgive not just once, but repeatedly, demonstrating boundless grace and compassion.

Matthew 18:21-22 reveals Jesus instructing Peter to forgive seventy times seven times, symbolizing the infinite nature of forgiveness that should be practiced by His followers.

Responding to Conflict with Love and Humility

Jesus embodied responding to conflict with love and gentleness.

He taught that peacemakers are blessed, as stated in Matthew 5:9, for they will be called children of God.

His Sermon on the Mount, including teachings such as turning the other cheek and loving your enemies, encourage believers to respond to wrongdoing with a heartfelt desire for reconciliation while maintaining personal holiness and respect for others.

These teachings advocate for a posture of humility and patience, evoking the Golden Rule as seen in Matthew 7:12: "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."

Conflict Resolution Strategies

The Bible provides clear guidance on conflict resolution, emphasizing the importance of communication, understanding, and the role of the church. These strategies are not only spiritually grounded but also practically effective.

Keys to Effective Conflict Resolution

In the domain of conflict resolution, the Bible proposes several key factors.

Self-control plays a pivotal role as demonstrated in the Book of James: "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" (James 1:19).

To effectively resolve conflicts, individuals are encouraged to listen attentively, hold back from hasty judgment, and manage their emotions.

Communication and Understanding

Effective communication is essential for resolving conflicts.

The Scripture advises, "In your anger do not sin": do not let the sun go down while you are still angry (Ephesians 4:26).

This verse underscores the significance of addressing issues promptly and with clarity. Furthermore, expressing one's feelings and grievances should be done in a manner that fosters understanding between the parties involved.

The Role of the Church in Resolving Conflicts

The church is portrayed as a mediator and a place of reconciliation, especially in church conflict.

Members are instructed to confess their sins to each other and pray for each other so that they may be healed (James 5:16).

This direction showcases the church's function in facilitating dialogue and fostering a space where resolution can be pursued through mutual support and prayer.

Paul's Epistles and Conflict Management

In his epistles, Paul the Apostle provides a clear framework for handling conflicts within the Christian church. His letters to the early churches deliver practical advice for fostering unity, resolving disagreements, and promoting peace.

Apostle Paul’s Insights on Unity and Peace

Paul encourages believers to live in harmony, as seen in his letter to the Romans.

Romans 12:18 states, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."

This mirrors his message in his correspondence to the Corinthians and Philippians, urging them to put aside differences and foster a spirit of togetherness.

In the Epistle to the Philippians, he emphasizes the importance of considering others' interests as well as one's own, as evident in Philippians 2:3-4: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

Overcoming Envy and Selfish Ambition

Through his Letters to the Corinthians, Paul identifies envy and selfish ambition as sources of conflict.

He challenges this behavior, advocating instead for a way of love: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud,” as noted in 1 Corinthians 13:4.

Paul calls for gentleness and selflessness, shunning rivalry, and striving for the greater good of the community.

He believed that resolving conflicts involves a transformation of the heart, where love overrides negative emotions that can cause discord.

The Proverbs on Handling Strife

The Book of Proverbs provides timeless guidance on managing conflicts with wisdom and patience, emphasizing the virtues of grace and unity while warning against the pitfalls of gossip and bitterness.

Wisdom and Patience in Proverbs

Proverbs teaches that patience is a powerful tool for diffusing conflict.

Proverbs 15:18 states, "A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel," illustrating the value of a calm demeanor.

Similarly, Proverbs 15:1 advises, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." These verses suggest that a measured response can prevent strife from escalating.

In addition, wisdom is seen as a protective buffer against strife.

Proverbs 13:10 asserts, "Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice."

This highlights the concept that being open to guidance and correction can lead to more peaceful interactions.

Avoiding Gossip and Bitterness

Proverbs also tackles the toxic impact of gossip and bitterness on unity.

Proverbs 16:28 points out: "A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends." This establishes that gossip can erode the bonds of friendship and community.

Moreover, the scriptures caution against allowing bitterness to take root.

In lines such as Proverbs 10:12, "Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs," the reader is encouraged to replace bitterness with grace.

Proverbs 17:1 echoes this sentiment, stating, "Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife."

The Pursuit of Peace and Righteousness

In the midst of conflict, the Bible guides believers to seek both peace and righteousness. These twin pursuits are not only essential for personal growth but also for fostering harmony in relationships.

Seeking God’s Righteousness in Conflict

"Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness," (Matthew 6:33) underscores the priority of pursuing God's standards, especially in times of conflict.

Believers are encouraged to align their actions with God's will, a process that may involve self-correction and grace.

For example, Hebrews 12:14 instructs, "Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord." This verse emphasizes the importance of striving for God's holiness as a foundational step in resolving conflicts.

Living in Peace with Others

The Bible consistently advocates for peaceful living.

In Ephesians 5:25, husbands are called to love their wives "as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."

This self-sacrificial love is a clear directive for maintaining peace in the most intimate of human relationships.

James 4:1 questions, "What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you?" hinting at the necessity to examine one’s own heart and motives to live peacefully with others.

As followers of Christ seek to embody the righteousness of God, they are better equipped to navigate and resolve interpersonal strife.

Conflict in Biblical Stories

The Bible provides numerous accounts of conflict, from personal quarrels to grand wars, all serving to teach moral and spiritual lessons. These stories highlight human struggles, divine interventions, and the pursuit of peace and justice.

Old Testament Narratives

In the Old Testament, conflict often arises around war and land.

A classic example is found when Abram and Lot's herdsmen quarrel over grazing rights, prompting Abram to seek peace, saying, "Let's not have any quarreling between you and me..." (Genesis 13:8). This demonstrates an early lesson on resolving conflicts through separation and negotiation.

Another narrative involves David and the house of Saul, which illustrates a prolonged period of strife.

The struggle for power is detailed in 2 Samuel 3:1, where war divided the house of David and the house of Saul. Despite personal enmity and the pursuit of victory, David often sought reconciliation and lamented violence.

Lessons from New Testament Examples

Turning to the New Testament, Matthew 18:16 advises on resolving personal disputes. It says, "But if they will not listen, take one or two others along..." This emphasizes the importance of witnesses in conflict resolution.

The apostle Paul faced conflict during his ministry, as outlined in Philippians 1:30. This verse references his struggle against opponents. He encourages believers to stand firm in one spirit, contending as one for the faith. His example teaches that conflict should be met with steadfastness and unity.

Practical Applications and Considerations

The application of biblical principles to conflict resolution ensures approaches are aligned with Christian values. This promotes compassion and understanding.

Dealing with Difficult People

In the realm of resolving conflicts, Romans 12:18 advocates for peace with everyone. This principle underscores the importance of striving for harmony, even when dealing with difficult people.

Kindness and gentleness, as fruits of the Spirit mentioned in Galatians, are critical virtues when navigating tense interactions. It is essential for one to be meek and slow to anger as outlined in James 1:19-20. This passage counsels, "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." These strategies foster an environment where contentious situations can be defused with grace.

Mending Relationships and Building Unity

Ephesians 4:26 offers a proactive approach to conflict resolution: "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. It elucidates the importance of addressing issues promptly to mend relationships and build unity.

Furthermore, 1 Thessalonians 2:2 speaks to the boldness needed to reconcile despite opposition. It makes it clear that mending rifts often requires courage and a direct approach. The objective is not only to resolve the present conflict but to cultivate a stronger bond. This discourages selfishness and fosters collective salvation within the Christian community.

Conclusion

In addressing conflict, the Bible emphasizes the importance of forgiveness and reconciliation.

One is encouraged to approach others privately to discuss grievances (Matthew 18:15). This direct communication seeks to foster peace and resolution.

Grace and wisdom from God are central for conflict resolution.

Scriptures like James 4:7-10 highlight the necessity of submitting to God as a pathway to peace. They advise believers to draw near to Him and to humble themselves.

The Bible doesn't shy away from the difficult aspects of conflict, often associating it with sin. Yet, it offers a clear pathway towards forgiveness.

The encouragement is to resolve disputes in a manner that reflects God's grace, pursuing unity over discord.

Achieving resolution and harmony is underscored in Proverbs 19:11. Here, one finds that it's to one's glory to overlook an offense.

The underlying message is clear: conflicts are opportunities to apply biblical principles of peace and forgiveness for the benefit of all involved.

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